43
This is commonly a non-year. An innocuous year. A year of little regard.
It is so dull that the basic highlight of “43” is that it is the 14th smallest prime number.
43 is the age of my fathers death. At the time he had a wife, a 4 year old daughter, a 13 year old son and an 18 year old son (give or take some months).
Today begins the year that I have thought about for roughly 30 years. The year of equal. For this is the year that produced a few major decisions in my life, most notably not having children. I was concerned about being very similar in physical shape as my father and the 50/50 split in the path toward cancer or no cancer...realizing this is not assured but having a difficult time considering the idea of putting another child through that process.
I do not regret that decision and my reflection is not based on regret, it is simply a moment to think about influence, result, future aspirations….cause and effect. Simply put, 43 becomes a more momentous year from my perspective and this year, once passed, puts me farther than the expectation of what the younger me had.
I continue to be amazed at my perspective of 43, how I don’t relate to the memory of a child and their parents at that time. The expectation of more direction in life and the realization that it is all made up, you can make significant changes in your life if you work at it, observing others make those momentous decisions and being amazed at the idea of being 43 years in….wondering how many are left...finding a way to enjoy what is left and looking back at what you have had to learn from and grow.
Thank you to those that have helped me get here and I am looking forward to the memories, photos and experiences that we will get to have. Hang on, it’s going to be a vanilla ride ; )
Thank you Dad, what little time we spent together created a foundation. It allowed me to find good people to help shape, grow and continue this life. Let's see where we go from here.
